A Long Flight

Laloo, Jayalalitha, and Mayavati were on a long flight in an Air Force plane. 
Laloo pulls out a 100 Rupee note and says, "I'm going to throw this Rs.100 note out and make someone down below happy."

Jayalalitha, not wanting to be outdone, says, "If that was my 100 Rupee note, I would split it into two Rs.50 notes, throw them down and make two people down below happy." 

Of course Mayavati doesn't want these two candidates to out do her so she pipes in, 'I would instead take one hundred Rs.1 notes and throw them out to make 100 people just a little happier. 

At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore, comes out and says, "If I throw all three of you out of this plane and I'll make 975 million people happy!"

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Regards: Amulyam

Logical Teacher

Teacher was teaching Mahabaratha to 6th std students. 

"Kans heard devaki's 8th son wud kill him. So he put devaki & vasudev in prison. 

1st child was born. Kans killed it by poison. 

2nd child Kans killed by sword. 3rd was born n so on... 
At this point a boy raised his hand for a doubt. 


Teacher : What? 

Boy : "If Kans knew that the 8th son wud kill him, 
why did he put Devaki & Vasudev in SAME jail?" 

Teacher fainted ! Generation gap, but common sense !

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LOVE <=> LIFE

Chinese ENGLISH

An Italian, French and Chinese went for a job interview in England. 

Before the interview, they were told that they must compose a sentence in English with three main words: green, pink and yellow. 

The Italian was first: "I wake up in the morning. I see the yellow sun. I see the green grass and I think to myself, I hope it will be a pink day." 

The French was next: " I wake up in the morning, I eat a yellow banana, a green pepper and in the evening I watch the pink panther on TV. 

Last was the Chinese: "I wake up in the morning, I hear the phone "green green", I "pink" up the phone and I say "Yellow. !!!!!!!!!!!!

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regards Amulyam

Husbands funny Answer

If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door,

who do you let in first?

Husband Replied:

The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.

regards: Amulyam

Joke on Java

Teacher asks a Computer Student:

    What are the 3 latest versions of Java?

Student Replied:

    MarJava, MitJava, LutJava ishq mein tere dil,

    kya jaan bhi naam tere kar Java o Java Java.

Buying Toilet Paper

A man shopping in a supermarket took his purchase of two cans of dog food to the checkout counter. The cashier asked, "Sir, do you have a dog?"

"Yes." replied the man.

"Well, where is it?" asked the cashier.

"I left him home." he answered.

"Sorry," the cashier said, "You can't buy the dog food if I can't see the dog. That's the rules."

The next day he returned to the store and brought some cat food to the checkout. "Do you have a cat?" asked the cashier. "Yes," he said, "but I left him home."

"Sorry," she said, "If I can't see the cat, I can't sell you the food. That's the rules."

The next day the man walked into the store with a brown paper bag. He walked up to the cashier and said, "Here. Put your hand in here."

The cashier put her hand in and said, "It's soft and warm. What is it?"

The man replied, "I'd like three rolls of toilet paper please!"

Regards: Amulyam

How to bully

A guy was looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library.

He asked a girl: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?" 

The girl replied in a loud voice: "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!" 



All the students in the library started staring at the guy, 

He was truly embarrassed and moved to another table. 



After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table, and said with a laugh: "I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?" 



The GUY then responded in a loud voice: 

"Rs.5000/- FOR ONE NIGHT!! ISN'T THAT TOO MUCH?" 



All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock. 

The guy whispered to her: 

"I study law and I know how to screw people."

Regards: Amulyam