Evolution of Man

Shadi se pehle-hero no. 1 
Shadi k baad- coolie no. 1 

Shadi se pehle: maine pyar kiya 
Shadi k baad- ye maine kya kiya? 

Shadi se pehle- Janeman mat jao 
Shadi k baad- jaan mat khao 

Shadi se pehle- tum bin raha na jaye 
Shadi k baad- tum ko saha na jaye 

Shadi se pehle- kuch to bolo 
Shadi ke baad- kabhi chup b ho lo 

Shadi se pehle- I luv you 
Shadi k baad- aaj phir aalu? 

Shadi se phle- milne kab aaogi? 
Shadi k baad- mayke kab jaogi?

Regards: Amulyam

Evolution of Man

The man: "God, how long is a million years?"

God: "To me, it's about a minute."

The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"

God: "To me it's a penny."

The man: "God, may I have a penny?"

God: "Wait a minute."

Regards: Amulyam

Advice Column in Magazine

Anonymous: 

Hi! I'm a lady aged 26 married with one kid. Last week my husband was off duty and I had to drive alone to work. 

I left my husband with the maid and my baby at home.

I drove for just about 2km from home and my car engine started to overheat so I had to turn back and get another car. 

When I got home I found my husband in bed with our maid. I don't know what to do now. Please help. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
Reply by male columnist: 

Dear anonymous, 

Overheating of engine after such short distance can be caused by problems associated with the carburetor. 

U need to check your oil and water level in your engine b4 u start your journey.

U must also make sure your car is serviced regularly to avoid problems in the future. 

Hope this helped you...!!

Regards Amulyam

Funny and Innocent Boy

A three-year old walks over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in a doctor's surgery.

Why is your stomach so big?!! he asks.

I'm having a baby.. she replies.

Is the baby in your stomach?.. he asks, with his big eyes.

Yes, it is.. she says.

Is it a good baby?.. he asks, with a puzzled look.

Oh, yes. A really good baby. the lady replies.

Shocked and surprised, he asks: "Then why did you eat him?"

Santa with Teacher

Teacher :    How many planets are there?

Santa :        Mercury, Venus, Jupiter vagerah. Vagerah

Teacher :    Aur batao?

Santa :        Aur bas ...sab badhiya!!! Ekdum

Mata raani ki kripa....
Aap sunao...??

Exam Hall

Examiner :     Showed legs of bird and asked to tell the bird's name.

Student    :      I don't know. 

Examiner :     You are failed. Whats your name? 

Student    :      You see my legs, and tell me.

Santa's Job

Santa joined new job. 

1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.

Boss was happy and asked "what you did till evening?"

Santa replied "Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright..."

Pappu's Intelligence

Santa, Banta aur Pappu picnic par gaye waha jaake yaad aaya k PEPSI to ghar bhul gaye

Decide kiya k Pappu jaake pepsi leAayega

Pappu: Main ek shart par jaunga k "tum mere aane tak samose nahi khaoge"

Dono ne kaha... "theek hai"

2 din guzar gaye... Pappu nahi aaya

4 din guzar gaye... Pappu nahi aaya

Dono ne socha k ab samose kha lene chahiye

Jaise hi samosa uthaya

Pappu ne ped k piche se nikal k bola "Aisa karoge to main nahi jaunga!!"

A Long Flight

Laloo, Jayalalitha, and Mayavati were on a long flight in an Air Force plane. 
Laloo pulls out a 100 Rupee note and says, "I'm going to throw this Rs.100 note out and make someone down below happy."

Jayalalitha, not wanting to be outdone, says, "If that was my 100 Rupee note, I would split it into two Rs.50 notes, throw them down and make two people down below happy." 

Of course Mayavati doesn't want these two candidates to out do her so she pipes in, 'I would instead take one hundred Rs.1 notes and throw them out to make 100 people just a little happier. 

At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore, comes out and says, "If I throw all three of you out of this plane and I'll make 975 million people happy!"

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Regards: Amulyam

Logical Teacher

Teacher was teaching Mahabaratha to 6th std students. 

"Kans heard devaki's 8th son wud kill him. So he put devaki & vasudev in prison. 

1st child was born. Kans killed it by poison. 

2nd child Kans killed by sword. 3rd was born n so on... 
At this point a boy raised his hand for a doubt. 


Teacher : What? 

Boy : "If Kans knew that the 8th son wud kill him, 
why did he put Devaki & Vasudev in SAME jail?" 

Teacher fainted ! Generation gap, but common sense !

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LOVE <=> LIFE

Chinese ENGLISH

An Italian, French and Chinese went for a job interview in England. 

Before the interview, they were told that they must compose a sentence in English with three main words: green, pink and yellow. 

The Italian was first: "I wake up in the morning. I see the yellow sun. I see the green grass and I think to myself, I hope it will be a pink day." 

The French was next: " I wake up in the morning, I eat a yellow banana, a green pepper and in the evening I watch the pink panther on TV. 

Last was the Chinese: "I wake up in the morning, I hear the phone "green green", I "pink" up the phone and I say "Yellow. !!!!!!!!!!!!

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regards Amulyam