Wife : Honey, Where are you?
Husband : I am at the Bank..
Wife : Dear, Please I need Rs.3000/- to activate my Blackberry, Rs.5000/- to my Hair and Rs.10,000/- to buy a Dress,
Husband : Sorry, I meant to say that I am at the "bank" of the River.. Do you want me to bring fish to cook?
Girl to Swamiji:
Swamiji, I doubt my Husband has been cheating on me... I have doubt on one woman..What to do?
Swamiji's reply to Girl:
Take your husband to that woman's doorstep and see if his Wi-Fi connects automatically..
Technology can be dangerous
A young man asked a rich old man that How he made his money ?
The old guy said : Son, it was 1932, The Depth of The Great Depression, I was down to my last nickel.
I invested that in an apple and spent the entire day polishing it and at the end of the day, I sold the apple for 10 Cents..!
The next day, I invested those 10 Cents in 2 apples. I spent the entire day polishing them & sold them for 20 Cents.
I continued this 4 a month, by the end of which I had accumulated a fortune Of $1.37.
.
Then my wife's father died & left us 2 Million Dollars...!
Find a chick whose father is rich.
She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.
Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.
As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a Magazine.
"Hi darling", he says, "your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom.
Hope you have said hello to them.
An Airline Introduced A Special Package For Business Men.
Buy Your Ticket Get Your Wife's Ticket Free
After Great Success, The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives Asking How Was The Trip.
All Of Them Gave A Same Reply... " Which Trip ? "
Boy: Jaanu, Kiss Karne do Na Plz.
Girl: Nahi.
Boy: Again Requested.
Girl : Maine jab ek baar mana Kar diya phir kyun jid kar rahe ho.
Boy : Jaanu, Please Karne do na. Problem Kya Hai. Mai Kiss Se Jyada Kuch Nahi Karunga.
Girl( Dukhi hote hue ): Jaanu bas... Yahi To Problem Hai... Tum Kiss Se Jyada Kuch karte Hi Nahi
After a few years of marriage, while washing clothes, wife saw the Lipstick mark on her hubby shirt
Wife : Tell me about this Lipstick on your shirt.
Husband : Babe, I can explain!
Wife : I don't care!! Just ask her the *Brand" and *Shade No.* !!!
Husband texts to wife on cell, "Hi, what are you doing Darling?"
Wife: I'm dying..!
Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without You?"
Wife: "You Idiot! I'm dying my hair.."
Husband: "Bloody English Language!
In a bank in Hyderabad
Hyderabadi Customer : Merku Cheque Deposit Karna Hai Kab Tak Clear Karte
Banker : 2 ya 3 Din Mein Clear Hojata
Customer : Dono Banks To Amne Samne Ich Hai Phir Itti Der Kaiku
Banker : Sir, Procedure Follow Karna Padhta, Agar Ap Qabristan Ke Bahar Accident Mein Margaye To Apku Ghar Ku Leke Jate, Gusal Dete, Kafan Pehnate, Janaze Ki Namaz Padhate. Ya Phir Marte Ich Samne Ke Qabristan Mein Dafan Karte
Customer : Aise khatarnak example nakko de re bawa, samajh gaya main..
A man and his nagging wife were on holiday in Jerusalem, when the wife suddenly died.
The funeral company told the man that it would cost $45,000 to ship her home or $500 to bury her in Jerusalem.
The husband said, "Ship her home!"
Shocked, the undertaker asked " But sir, why don't you bury her in the Holy Land and save the money?"
The husband replied, "A long time ago, a man named Jesus was buried here and 3 days later, he rose from the dead... I'm sorry I can't take that RISK!"
