SMSes

Ankho se jab kisi ko shikayat ho jati hai,

Dil ko jab dhadkano ki ijazat ho jati hai,

Kaise bhul jaye koi kisi ki yadon ko,

Kisi ki adat ho jati hai.

 ************ ********* *********  

Girls Hearts Like WATER,

Boys Hearts Like MOBILE,

Either Water Falls On Mobile

Or

Mobile Falls In Water,

Watt Mobile Ki Lagegi.

************ ********* *********

Zindagi Me Do Cheeze Bahut Takleef Deti Hai-

1 Wo Jis Se Mohabat Na Ho Uske Sath Rehna.

1 Wo Jis Se Mohabat Ho Uske Bagair Rehna.

********* ********* ********* ********

Kya apke toothpaste mai namak hai?

Agar haa to thoda haldi, mirchi, immli,

Aur narial dalkar chatni kyun nahi bana lete..

What an idea sir ji...

************ ********* ********* *********

Santa-Tum Meri Shadi Mai Aaoge Na?

Banta-Mai Un Logo Mai Se Nahi,

Jo Musibat Ke Waqt Dost ko Akela Chhod De.

Main Zarur Aaunga.

--
Amit Ranjan
-----------------------
LOVE <=> LIFE

Love SMSes

Pyaar kamjor dil se kiya nahi ja sakta,
Zeher Dushman se liya nahi ja sakta,
Dil mein basi hai ulfat jis pyar ki
us ke bina jiya nahi ja sakta.

 ************ ********* *********

Saath rehte rehte yuhin waqt guzar jayega
Door hone ke baad kaun kise yaad aayega
Jee lo ye pal jab hum sath hai
kal ka kya pata, waqt kahan le jayega

 ************ ********* *********

Zindagi nahin humein doston se pyaari,
Doston ke liye haazir hai jaan hamaari,
Aankhon mein hamaari aansoon hai to kya,
Jaan se bhi pyaari hai muskaan tumhaari !

 ************ ********* *********

Jasbaate ishq naakaam naa hone denge,
Dil ki duniya mein kabhi shaam naa hone denge,
Dosti ka har ilzaam apne sar par le lenge,
Par dost hum tumhe badnaam na hone denge !

 ************ ********* *********

Dosti ek saahil hai tufaano ke liye,
Dosti ek aaina hai armaano ke liye,
Dosti ek mehfil hai anjaano ke liye,
Dosti ek khawaahish hai aap jaise dost ko paane ke liye !!

 ************ ********* *********

Tujhe dekhe bina teri tasweer bana sakta hoon,
Tujhse mile bina tera haal bata sakta hoon,
Hai meri dosti mein itna dum,
Apni aankh ka aansoon teri aankh se gira sakta hoon !!

************ ********* *********

Aye dost teri dosti uss ghadi tadpaayegi,
Jab zindagi kahegi alvida, Aur maut bhi naa aayegi ! …

************ ********* *********

kaun kehta hai ishq me bas ikraar hota hai
kaun kehta hai ishq me bas inkaar hota hai
tanhai ko tum bebasi ka naam na do
kyunki ishq ka doosra naam hi intezar hota hai

************ ********* *********

dete ho kyun ye dard bus humi ko

kya samjhoge tum in ankho ki nami ko
yun to honge lakho deewane is chand kay
chand kya mehsus karega ek tare ki kami ko

************ ********* *********

Kuch nasha to aapki baat ka hai,
kuch nasha to dheemi barsaat ka hai,
humein aap yun hi sharabi na kahiye,
is dil par asar to aap se mulakat ka hai

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Definition of Kiss

Prof .of Economics

Kiss is that thing for which the demand is aways higher than the supply.
*******

Prof. Of Accountancy

Kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.
*******

Prof. Of Algebra

Kiss is infinity because two divided by nothing.
*******

Prof. Of Geometry

Kiss is the shortest distance between two lips.
*******

Prof. Of Physics

Kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.
*******

Prof. Of Chemistry

Kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.
*******

Prof. Of Zoology

Kiss is the interchange of salivary bacteria.
*******

Prof. Of Physiology

Kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularisoris muscles in the state of contraction.
*******

Prof. Of Dentistry

Kiss is infectious and antiseptic.
*******

Prof. Of Philosophy

Kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.
*******

Prof. Of English

Kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction, it is more common than proper, 

it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.
*******

Prof. Of Architecture

Kiss is a process which builds a solid bond between the two dynamic objects
******* 

Prof. Of Comp.Science

What is a kiss? It seems to be an undefined variable

SMSes

Kaash surat aap ki itni pyari na hoti,

Kaash aapse mulakat hamari na hoti,

Sapno mein hi dekh lete aapko

To aaj milne ki itni bekarari na hoti.

************ ********* ********* 

In a bath room, a boy touches a girl everywhere!

You Know whose that boy?

Stupid It's Lifeboy Soap!

Dirty people always think dirty.

************ ********* ********* 

Sleeping Is Not Taking Rest For Todays Hardwork..

It Means Gaining Energy For Tomorrow..

So Sleep Well..

Good Night..!

************ ********* ********* 

Bheegay Mosam Ki

Bheegi Si Raat

Bheegi Si Yaad

Bhuli Hui Baat

Bhula Hua Waqt

Wo Bheegi c Aankhain

Wo Beeta Hua Saath

Mubarak Ho Aap Ko

December Ki Pehli Barsaat.

************ ********* ********* 

1 Kabutar Ne Sardar K Upar Beet Kar Di

Sardar: Kutte Teri Maa NE Tujhe Chaddi Pehenna Nahi Sikhaya.

Kabutar: Abey To Tu kya Chaddi Mein karta hai..?

 ************ ********* ********* 

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Jokes (Sardar)

A donkey kicked a Sardar & ran away Sardar ran to catch the donkey. He saw a zebra & started beating it & said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka De raha hai'. ******************* SWOT BOOK filled by Santa. 1.Strength:My wife,Jeeto. 2.Weakness:Banta's wife, Preeto. 3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour. 4.Threat: When I am on tour ******************* Sardar: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml Now it's 2 ltr. ******************* Santa went to Mysore palace. Tourist guide - Santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair Santa - Oye dont worry yaar I'll get up when he comes.!!.. ******************* Sardar wanted to make a STD call to Punjab, He wanted to save money so what did he do? Simple, he went to Punjab and made a local call. ******************* One tourist from U.S.A.asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village? Sardar: No sir, only small babies!!! ******************* A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa doesn't turns up for four days. Lady calls again. Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one Comes out ******************* 2 sardars were fighting after exam. Sir: Y r u fighting? 1st Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank, Sir: So what? 1st Sardar: Even I did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both Copied. ******************* Sardar 1: I'm very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone & saved 1/2 money. Sardar 2: You R nothing I saved all my money, my friend was going & I sent My wife with him. ******************* A scene from Kohn Benega Crorepati... . Amitabh : In which state the river Kaveri flows? Sardar : Liquid state..... Audience clapped.. Amitabh stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS..... .. *******************

Facing problem

Whenever you are in trouble/problem

Don't say Hay God, I have a big problem, rather say

Hay problem, I have a big GOD.

.....

Anish Ranjan

What Is More Painful (Mix SMS)

What is more painful?

When a person whom you trust, hurts you;

Or

The person whom you hurt, still trusts you?

Just

Think…..!

..........................

Aasman ka chand teri bahon me ho 

Tu Jo chahe teri rahon me ho 

Har wo khwab ho pura Jo teri ankhon me ho 

Khush Kismati ki har Lakir tere hathon me ho

 ..........................

I hope you are feeling better,

I miss you every day.

I am always thinking of you,

So this is what I say,

Get Well Soon!

 ..........................

The more I learn the more I get to know,

The more I know the more I forget,

The more I forget the less I know,

So why should I be learning??

..........................

"Lambi dosti K liye 2 chezon par amal karo

1>apne dost se gusse me baat mat karo Or 

2>apne dost ki gusse me kahi hui baat dil pe mat lo

 ..........................

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Its best Friendship (Mix SMS)

I say and You listen

Its a good Friendship

You say and I listen

Its a better Friendship

But

I don't say and You understand,

Its best Friendship.

....................................................

Biwi ko apni palkon pe bitha lo,

De ke khushi us ke sare gham chura lo.

Pyar aisa karo ke sub dekhte reh jaye

Parosan bi AA ke kahe

"mujhe bi apni bewi bana lo"

....................................................

In School, They Taught Me That

1 hour = 60 Mints

1 Min = 60 Secs

But They Never Told Me That

1 Sec Without You = 100 Years:

 ....................................................

Teacher: Tum bade ho kar kya karoge?

Santa: Shadi.

Teacher: Nahi, mera matlab kya banoge?

Santa:"DADDY "

 ....................................................

A Great JAPANESE Proverb:

"If one can do it, U too can do it, If none can do it, U must do it .

&

Its PAKISTANI Version:

"If one can do it, let him do it. If none can do it, why waste our time on it.

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COLLECTION OF SMS...

1) Kash tum chand or mein sitara hota , aasman par ek aashiyana hamara hota , log tumhe dur bahut dur se dekhte or tumhe chune ka haq sirf hamara hota..

2) Koi dost naya ya purana nahi hota, zindagi ka har pal suhana nahi hota, juda hona to kismat ki baat hai, par judai ka matlab bhulana nahi hota.

3) Duniya ka har shauk pala nahi jata,kaanch ke khilono ko uchala nahi jata,mehnat karne se mushqile ho jati hai aasan koyki har kaam taqdeero per tale nahi
jate.

4) Khyalon me wahi, sapno me wahi, lekin unki yaadon me hum the hi nahi, hum jaagte rahe duniya soti rahi, ek baarish hi thi, jo humare saath roti rahi....

5) Ek phool b aksaR Baag saja deta hai.

Ek hi sitara sansar chamka deta hai,

jahan duniya bhar k Rishte b kaam nahi aate,

wahi Ek Dost Zindagi bana deta hai.

6) Unhe bhoolne ki koshish ki maine, dil ne kaha yaad karte rehna, wo hamare dard ki fariyad sune na sune, apna to farz hai unhe pyaar karte rehna.....

7) Itni asani se kaise bhul jata hai koi, Rah rah kar kyu yad ata hai koi, Umer bhar yaad karte rahenge hum, Dekhte hai kab tak hame bhulata hai koi.

8) Mohabbat Ki Daasta Sunaane Aaye Hai, Tabaah Karne Ke Baad Wo Pyar Jataane Aaye Hai,
Aansu Poch Liye The Hamne Kab Ke, Magar Wo Fir Se Hame Rulane aye hai. . .

9) Har Raat Chand ka Shingar nahi milta,

Har Bagh ko phul ka DulaR nahi milta,

Hamne b Duniya dekhi hai,

Har Insan ko "Aap" jaisa dost nahi milta.

10) Abi jab humne apni ankhe band ki, to aap hume sabse khush nazar aaye,agar ye tarika hai apko khush dekhne ka,to khuda kare ye ankhe sada k liye band ho
jaye..

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Jokes:

Man: Doctor my wife recently has lost her voice. What should I do to help her to get it back?
Doctor: Try to come home at 3 in the morning.

Why is a bachelor skinny and a married man fat?
-The Bachelor comes home, takes one look at what's in the refrigerator, and goes to bed.
-The Married man comes home, takes one look at what's in the bed and goes to refrigerator!

Parent: How did you write your exam?

Son: they have given the questions which I don't know. So I wrote answers which they don't know..!!

Decent girls open a few buttons in a hot atmosphere.. .

But smart girls open a few buttons to make the atmosphere hot!

One Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.

MOM: Wake up, son. It's time to go to school.

SON: But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school.

MOM: Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school.

SON: One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.

MOM: Oh! That's not a r...eason. Come on, you have to go to school.

SON: Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?

MOM: One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school

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